In my COVID isolation in the woods in PA, i listened to your crazy ass story. Really liked it. I can always expect funny stuff from my friend from the North. I just gave my students an assignment on a story. Cut 50 needless words from their 650 word narrative, and then add 50 pounds of back bacon. lol. I do this all of the time. Think about what is needless or just assumed. End on the most emphatic word. Examples: